Ass-Kickers Unlimited is a major single-village gang, located in Tonad. It is sometimes called "Aku" for short, which is at once an acronym for the full name, and a Terran subword meaning "evil." It is one of The Land's oldest street gangs, though it never actually amounted to much. It has always existed chiefly as a place for wayward teens to get together and act out their fantasies of being tough criminals, though like most such street gangs, this has always been an essentially transitory phase for most members, and membership has always had a high rate of turnover. Tonad in particular, among the Land's villages, has always had a great number of gangs of this type, and until 899, the Aku were nothing special. At that time, gangs from various villages began to merge, though all but two inter-village gangs failed to last beyond the Coming of the Order. The two that did survive, LandOrder and InterGang, became the predominant gangs in any villages where they had branches. LandOrder didn't have a branch in Tonad until shortly after the Coming ended, though a local gang called "The Victors," which at the time was headed by Larami Illuminatus, became one of the founding gangs within InterGang.

And so, first InterGang, and later LandOrder, each managed to absorb the majority of the other small gangs within Tonad, the one notable holdout being Aku. At the time, the relatively new leader of Aku, Frag Topdog (who was only 16 in 899), saw the idea of inter-village gangs as a form of "selling out," abandoning the true spirit of gangs. On a more personal note, his brother Brag, former leader of the Aku, was killed by Rolf, a member of InterGang who was trying to impress Larami. He therefore steadfastly refused to join with either of the major gangs. Subsequently, there were too few independent gangsters left in the village to pose a real challenge to the Aku, while the two inter-village gangs lost all interest in the Aku, who they saw as beneath them. This allowed the Aku to develop a mid-level niche for themselves, by staying true to their roots. They mostly remain a traditional, small-time street gang populated mostly by teenagers who eventually tend to move on with their lives, after a few years or so in the gang. As such, they have become recognized as the largest and most powerful of the traditional street gangs that still exist in any of the Land's villages, whether the inter-village gangs show them any respect or not.

In 906, a new gang emerged in Tonad, called the Brills, and they did become rivals of the Aku, though after the first couple of years of their existence, the rivalry had mostly settled down, as the Brills tended to be a more upscale operation (with mostly older members) than Aku. In 912, when Larami Illuminatus broke off from InterGang to form the Illuminati, her new gang absorbed the Brills. Subsequently, Frag Topdog (then 29, and the oldest ever leader of the Aku) approached Illuminatus about possibly also forming an alliance, or so it's said. It's not known who approached whom, though most people believe it was Topdog who wanted in on the new gang, and she who rejected him. But it is known that the Aku have sometimes provided some help to the Illuminati, in various capacities, including using their large number of enforcers as hired muscle.

It is virtually pointless to try to maintain a list of members within Aku, because of the high turnover rate and non-career natures of most members, besides which little is ever known of anyone in particular. However, it is known that the current chief enforcer is Melinda Slingshot, who joined the gang in 910, at the age of 11, making her one of the youngest members ever, and certainly the youngest chief of any department ever. In spite of her young age, she is said to be an incredible fighter, well respected by the older enforcers under her command (who are, of course, mostly teenagers themselves), as well as by enforcers from LandOrder, InterGang, and the Illuminati.

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